Fanblogs.com: 2009 Federal College Football Bailout/Stimulus Act
Zac
· 9 months ago
Ya know; I alomst thought this was for real. That is, until I saw who wrote it. It's a hoot just the same, WarEagle. It's a real hoot! (Sadly, you may have given some idot congressmen an idea for the next package.)
War_Eagle_Atlanta
· 9 months ago
Yea, the first one almost sounds plausible for just a second.
Thanks, guys. I thought I could have come up with more. Maybe I will... It still wasn't as hard as that CFB Sniglets thread I did a while back. That one kicked my ass, and then it flopped.
This is sheer genius. If I could I'd entrust my taxes to WEA instead of Geitner / Obama.
Kevin @ Fanblogs
· 9 months ago
best fanblogs thread ever.
1Tomcat
· 9 months ago
Agreed, The boy might have to quit selling cars and write full time- better than the stuff on Leno or Letterman
Zac
· 9 months ago
Hey, wait a minute, TC. I still have to buy a Volvo from he dude. How else am I to drive safely all the way to see Baylor & UConn next fall?
War_Eagle_Atlanta
· 9 months ago
Amtrack??
Zac
· 9 months ago
I might just as well fly.
1Tomcat
· 9 months ago
WEA Wow man you have really outdone everybody. I mean this sincerely, this is genuine talent expressed directly to stimulate the reader. This has got to be some of the best stuff you've done and with this global economic crisis it pays to be diversified. The snuggle-shamwow thing is brilliant and rumor has it the folks in Tuscaloosa are already working on a prototype and are in the early stages of development. I really have to agree on the Big12 revamping idea- since its formation the South has been dominate, however I must remind everybody that Neb, KU and Missu all won their bowl games, cant say the same for OU, Ok st and TTech. Great article WEA probably ought to be picked up by some major media outlet and published to the masses. This has got to be the best stuff I've read in a while and you are probably eligible for some kind of fanblogs award- you got my vote funny stuff Adios Tomcat
U.of S.C.1978
· 9 months ago
Wow! What a piece of work! I think you left something out though.
Bailout: Enzyte, The Natural Male Enhancement. This snake oil purveyor is desirous of spreading the truth that a placebo effect, is better than no affect at all.
Stimulus: Big! Maybe even BIGGER! It depends upon your perspective, limp Richard.
War_Eagle_Atlanta
· 9 months ago
I thought it was called Extenze? You know, they have sold over 100 million capsules and the ingredient is scientifically proven to enhance that certain part of the male anatomy.
I ordered some, but all they did was make me a bigger assh*le instead...
:-)
U.of S.C.1978
· 9 months ago
That's it, Extenze! I wonder if it would help my memory?
TampaGator
· 9 months ago
CLASSIC!
GO GATORS!!
Mr2Bits
· 9 months ago
Nice work...that damn snuggie drives me crazy. Stupidest invention ever. Every time I see the commercial I think they are pushing the KKK. The dude that does the shamwow had me until he tried to push the slap chop, that’s when I said no thanks.
Now the save-a-blade is where its at.
Regan
· 9 months ago
I feel your pain. FreeCreditReport.com commercials are the bane of my existence....
4cornerz
· 9 months ago
Give the Big East a stimulus to attract more teams
War_Eagle_Atlanta
· 9 months ago
Maybe the secretary of defense can order Army and Navy to join?
Bama_Babe
· 9 months ago
I'm sure ESPN will be glad to find all the snuggies in the crowd at this years A-Day game for you, WEA......
;)
War_Eagle_Atlanta
· 9 months ago
I show you what I've got under my Snuggie if you show me what's under yours, Bama Babe...
;-)
Bama_Babe
· 9 months ago
Gregory.....you can't be giving away our secret in front of everyone like that....
only kidding ;)
Regan
· 9 months ago
Any bailout for the fans so they can better afford the games?
Or is that in the same category as any dollars going to US taxpayers so they can have a chance in hell to deal with rapidly increasing costs and debt? (ie: NONE)
I am bitter enough as it is, being an economist that watches the news, so I'm going to try to steer clear of this thread. Sorry, everyone. :(
Zac
· 9 months ago
Hang in there, Regan. Me thinks, it's only for another 46 months.
Regan
· 9 months ago
Thanks, bud...I'm an economist / bookkeeper looking for a job; just 46 months left, eh?
I am so screwed... :(
TampaGator
· 9 months ago
Regan:
There is great news amidst all this mess: these are precisely the circumstances which serve to remind America who and what she is, what she stands for, and what her roll in the world is. America will be back, and stronger than ever; but only after she gets over her periodical, passing, flirtation/fancy with socialism.
Behold what awaits, when America finally does get her head out of her ass:
That's about 40 years worth of oil, right under feet, at today's consumption levels, with today's technology (i.e.--much more than 40 years when we factor in for technological advancement in accessing and using the stuff).
That's how we can, and how we will, retire our national debt, and return to greatness....
...by dancin' with the ones that brung us (oil and capitalism).
In the mean time--you won't like this, but it's the truth--you need to carve your own niche--just like your forefathers dun. Forget jobs; sure they'll be back, but not for a while. You'll just have to take inventory of what you have and what your capable of doing, find a need, then find a way to address the needs with what you have.
The essence of capitalism.
Welcome (back) to the new world order...
GO GATORS!!
Regan
· 9 months ago
Thanks for the kind words, TG. I share your frustration regarding what's going on on the whole Socialism experiment, which I agree will not continue too much longer.
We're Americans. We like entrepreneurs, and deep down distrust politicians more than big corporations. We only tolerate Recessions for so long before asking ourselves "hey....just how much do we want to pretend our stuff is worth nothing?"
The US Economy is the greatest thing that affects the lives of every single American that can be controlled by simply Willing it So....or proper amounts of Prozac...
The American Dream is vital to the average person, and the average person is seeing what's slowly being sacrificed for Zee Greater Good.
My American Dream is to become a Financial Aid chairman at my alma mater, CofC. The notion of helping kids be able to financially 'MacGyver' their way through College to get a degree so they can better themselves and families with hard work is almost a calling as far as I'm concerned. That, and I won't leave my beloved Charleston without the term "gunpoint" being used.
The problem with FA in the past 5 years though, is that you had to be born with FA Experience to get an interview. :) Now, the problem is State Education Budget Cuts and Job Freezes.
And the whole Financing Industry has gotten bit by the business end of obscene greed lately, dividing it into the "good guys" and the ones that go up on interest rates because it's a day that ends in "y"...
...Gar....I need to find a job that will pay me to whine until things turn around. :)
Clemson_Joe
· 9 months ago
You are among the ones that feel for. I'm not far away, and have tons of friends down there. If I happen to hear of anything in your field in Chucktown, I'll surely pass it along.
Clemson_Joe
· 9 months ago
Well said, man. I couldn't agree more. I thank my blessings every day for having a good solid job right now, and I really feel for the ones that don't. I don't feel for the ones that are too lazy to look for one and don't have a job, but I feel terrible for the ones that are willing and trying to find something, yet have nothing.
War_Eagle_Atlanta
· 9 months ago
Ramblin Gator is in town and he and I just had dinner at Nava, on Peachtree, where we shared in wine and song and talked about all you behind your backs...
Luckily, one of us is on an expense account. Thanks, Gary!
OU_Ron
· 9 months ago
That sounds like fun.....sure glad you didn't mention lighted candles and dancing, I think my mental image of you two would be shot to $%&#..........business has been so bad, I forgot what a expense account is..
Ramblin' Gator
· 9 months ago
Well, there was this one moment when we both reached for the bread and our hands touched. Oh, what might have been... ;-)
OU_Ron
· 9 months ago
Sounds like a close encounter, glad you restrained yourselves...:-)
War_Eagle_Atlanta
· 9 months ago
Did you ever meet up with Kev in Orlando?
OU_Ron
· 9 months ago
No, time didn't permit....had a brief conversation by phone.....I'll plan my trip a little better next year....think I'll stay in Celebration next year, I hear they have better restaurants..
Ramblin' Gator
· 9 months ago
My pleasure, WEA. Hopefully, this will be the first (presumptively?) of many non-virtual Fanblogs meetings.
U.of S.C.1978
· 9 months ago
Steaks, vino, songs, back gossip? Keerist. It was starting to sound like a Vol imitation of some silly socal nudie ritual. Lucky for you boys that the Bama Babe got your backs. LOL Just kidding, just kidding. Wish I had been there.
All Comments
Thanks, guys. I thought I could have come up with more. Maybe I will... It still wasn't as hard as that CFB Sniglets thread I did a while back. That one kicked my ass, and then it flopped.
If you like that cartoon above, check out all Michael Ramirez's conservative editorial cartoons from Investor's Business Daily. Sheer genius...
Great article WEA probably ought to be picked up by some major media outlet and published to the masses. This has got to be the best stuff I've read in a while and you are probably eligible for some kind of fanblogs award- you got my vote funny stuff
Adios Tomcat
Bailout: Enzyte, The Natural Male Enhancement. This snake oil purveyor is desirous of spreading the truth that a placebo effect, is better than no affect at all.
Stimulus: Big! Maybe even BIGGER! It depends upon your perspective, limp Richard.
I ordered some, but all they did was make me a bigger assh*le instead...
:-)
GO GATORS!!
Now the save-a-blade is where its at.
;)
;-)
only kidding ;)
Or is that in the same category as any dollars going to US taxpayers so they can have a chance in hell to deal with rapidly increasing costs and debt? (ie: NONE)
I am bitter enough as it is, being an economist that watches the news, so I'm going to try to steer clear of this thread. Sorry, everyone. :(
I am so screwed... :(
There is great news amidst all this mess: these are precisely the circumstances which serve to remind America who and what she is, what she stands for, and what her roll in the world is. America will be back, and stronger than ever; but only after she gets over her periodical, passing, flirtation/fancy with socialism.
Behold what awaits, when America finally does get her head out of her ass:
http://www.usgs.gov/newsroom/article.asp?ID=1911
That's about 40 years worth of oil, right under feet, at today's consumption levels, with today's technology (i.e.--much more than 40 years when we factor in for technological advancement in accessing and using the stuff).
That's how we can, and how we will, retire our national debt, and return to greatness....
...by dancin' with the ones that brung us (oil and capitalism).
In the mean time--you won't like this, but it's the truth--you need to carve your own niche--just like your forefathers dun. Forget jobs; sure they'll be back, but not for a while. You'll just have to take inventory of what you have and what your capable of doing, find a need, then find a way to address the needs with what you have.
The essence of capitalism.
Welcome (back) to the new world order...
GO GATORS!!
We're Americans. We like entrepreneurs, and deep down distrust politicians more than big corporations. We only tolerate Recessions for so long before asking ourselves "hey....just how much do we want to pretend our stuff is worth nothing?"
The US Economy is the greatest thing that affects the lives of every single American that can be controlled by simply Willing it So....or proper amounts of Prozac...
The American Dream is vital to the average person, and the average person is seeing what's slowly being sacrificed for Zee Greater Good.
My American Dream is to become a Financial Aid chairman at my alma mater, CofC. The notion of helping kids be able to financially 'MacGyver' their way through College to get a degree so they can better themselves and families with hard work is almost a calling as far as I'm concerned. That, and I won't leave my beloved Charleston without the term "gunpoint" being used.
The problem with FA in the past 5 years though, is that you had to be born with FA Experience to get an interview. :) Now, the problem is State Education Budget Cuts and Job Freezes.
And the whole Financing Industry has gotten bit by the business end of obscene greed lately, dividing it into the "good guys" and the ones that go up on interest rates because it's a day that ends in "y"...
...Gar....I need to find a job that will pay me to whine until things turn around. :)
Luckily, one of us is on an expense account. Thanks, Gary!