DISQUS

Zac · 7 months ago

HOLY COW!!! I got one. It just might even be funny. Here goes.

Lou Holtz tried to run the race, but didn't finish as he was too busy giving pep-talks to stragglers like Friegen, Mangino, & Weiss. Since they couldn't finish, he may be still talk'n.

Can you verify that for us Fosterkeats?

War_Eagle_Atlanta · 7 months ago

Nobody with a MD like Dr. Lou is required to run it...

gatorhippy · 7 months ago

Fanblogs versions...

WEAtl was asked to run but instead made a "Top Ten" list as to why he doesn't believe in physical exertion...

TE was supposed to run but missed the start due to being to tied up in basking in his own megalomania and talking about how he was going to win the race...

Bleed Crimson also missed the start because he was to busy telling TE why he wasn't going to win the race...

K-Hue started the race but had to stop after 20 yards to take his coumadin and nitro...

Regan had a nervous breakdown trying to decide who to run for after being told he couldn't represent four different schools...

Ben Prather won the race after confusing everyone with mathematical equations...

FosterKeats won but only because he brainwashed the other contestants by dosing them with LSD and convincing them to go on a killing spree...

BamaBabe won the women's division but by default given she was the only entrant...

Ramblin' Gator got a great start but barfed halfway down due to all the deep-fried Oreos he had ate...

Zac caused a tie when he convinced everyone there is two sides to the coin and that they shouldn't be concerned with winning or losing and having everyone join hands and walk across the line together despite their differences...

And of course...

Gatorhippy boycotted the race due to the coverage of it being blatantly biased against his squad and the obvious presence of a conspiracy theory against the Gators by the race organizers...

War_Eagle_Atlanta · 7 months ago

haha! The Fanblogs edition! Why didn't I think of that!

Lennie Collins was a DNF because he was arguing with the finish line... (or fence post)

WarEagleFan · 7 months ago

He gave up arguing with the Brick wall because it was being racist

gatorhippy · 7 months ago

Tomcat and OU Ron were placed on injured reserve prior to the start due to a tussle between them that left both with torn scrotums...

1Tomcat · 7 months ago

Thanks GH heard the song don't mess with my Willie?
I like your photo- cotton picking songwriter

Ramblin' Gator · 7 months ago

Coondawg and IrishJT vanished before the start of the race.

gatorhippy · 7 months ago

However, it wasn't even noticed until a year later...

1Tomcat · 7 months ago

MR Mayor would have won the race, but was delayed during the uniform selection process

Zac · 7 months ago

OOOH, De-Lay!!!!

fosterkeats · 7 months ago

I'm also still trying to get out of prison by telling th parole board I will kill again...

Ramblin' Gator · 7 months ago

Clemson Joe was unable to compete, having fired his coach the day before the meet.

Porcine · 7 months ago

After losing the race Ben sued upon finding out he had to win in order to get the prize money

Porcine · 7 months ago

Tim Tebow was disqualified in the preliminaries for circumcising Nick Saban and the Tide. Ben Prather decided this would help his suit so he finished the job with a neutering.

Zac · 7 months ago

SHTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHP IT!!!!!!!! OH, my aching sides...

Kevin @ Fanblogs · 7 months ago

Genius.

Porcine · 7 months ago

Despite having no entrants the entire state of Washington was awarded the Zippy Chippy spirit award, ending Notre Dame's nine year winning streak.

OU_Ron · 8 months ago

I think my man Mark tripped on purpose, he knew he was faster when rolling...

War_Eagle_Atlanta · 8 months ago

Gravity is sometimes our friend...

Ramblin' Gator · 7 months ago

He probably tripped over Weiss and Freidgen on their way to the buffet.

trevote · 1 month ago

Umma freshmen DLinemen that runs a 4.7 i dnt like the position i wanna be a runningback

OU_Ron · 1 month ago

Hmmmm.......ok

WarEagleFan · 7 months ago

what about Urban Meyer?

Bama_Babe · 7 months ago

Had a huge lead, then stumbled over some Nutts and bolts, regained the lead and eventually won with a pretty good time. There were some that accused him of cheating, but investigation led to no such thing. Credit goes to his trainer, Chuck "Superman" Norris Tebow.

War_Eagle_Atlanta · 7 months ago

Hey, hey! Bama Babe with the quip!

We need to set you up with your own weekly thread...

Zac · 7 months ago

Sure! Encourage her, why doan-cha?

OU_Ron · 7 months ago

Meyer probably won't be able to participate in this years race, he'll be busy as back up surgeon for the TTCC.......

This years motto for the Gators..." we'll cut you down with precision "

War_Eagle_Atlanta · 7 months ago

I really hope Ramblin Gator comes up with a few of these on his own. That's why I left the door open...

fosterkeats · 7 months ago

Bill Snyder ran the wrong way, but his senility is the fastest of any coach out there...

Rich Rodriguez wanted the track repaved before he ran. They agreed, then he decided to go run it somehere else...

Bobby Petrino ran it in the middle of he night when only his friends were there...

Rick Neuheisel bet his buddies he could run the fastest, then he was disqualified for gambling...

Charlie Weis can't run b/c he has a Front Butt...

Kansas officials set a Papa John's Supreme pizza at the end of the track, and Mark Mangino had an impressive 8.6 time... in eating the pizza... is 40 time was 2min 45sec...

Mark Richt declined to run b/c "The Lord didn't intend for me to be fast..."

War_Eagle_Atlanta · 7 months ago

LMAO@Rich Rod!!

Zac · 7 months ago

I couldn't agree more! Great one, Foster-K!!!

Ramblin' Gator · 7 months ago

Bobby Bowden tried to run the race, but a group of over-zealous boosters picked him up and carried him, officially disqualifying him.

Ramblin' Gator · 7 months ago

Randy Shannon didn't finish the race because he stopped to talk to his "butt buddies".

Ramblin' Gator · 7 months ago

Before the starting gun, Lane Kiffen proclaimed himself the winner of the race and accused all other competitors of cheating.

TampaGator · 7 months ago

LOL!

Good stuff, Ramblin--all around, but this one was just hilarious!


GO GATORS!!

Ramblin' Gator · 7 months ago

Mike Gundy ran the race and spent the next hour yelling at the media for criticizing his finishing time.

Ramblin' Gator · 7 months ago

Mark Richt ran the race and was then disqualified for a celebration at the finish line.

War_Eagle_Atlanta · 7 months ago

haha!

Ramblin' Gator · 7 months ago

Houston Nutt really wanted to run the race, but it turned out he was a non-qualifier.

War_Eagle_Atlanta · 7 months ago

Somebody STOP him!!!

Ramblin' Gator · 7 months ago

Urban Meyer did well in the race. The judges lost their starter's pistol and had to borrow a gun from one of Urban's players.

Zac · 7 months ago

Don't stop now, RG, you're on a roll! Do I hear Top-10 anybody?

Regan · 7 months ago

Tommy Bowden and Dabo Swinney are in the relay.

gatorhippy · 7 months ago

Jimbo Fisher has put on his track shoes and started to stretch the last two years only to be told he'll need to wait one more season while the old guy dawdles down the lane again...

gatorhippy · 7 months ago

However, this doesn't bother Jimbo because he knows if he doesn't get to run it by next year he'll be a rich man AND get to run it somewhere else...

Ramblin' Gator · 7 months ago

Jim Tressel wanted to run in the race, but he couldn't remove his sweater vest in time.

gatorhippy · 7 months ago

Randy Shannon ran and lost; then afterwards whined that the kid should have slowed down and not beat him so badly...

gatorhippy · 7 months ago

The Bammers wanted the Bear to run but were told there is not a Zombie division...

U.of S.C.1978 · 7 months ago

Bowden Jr. cannot run at all, he got shot in the foot, mid-season. Swinney will probably put up a good time for the forty, if he loses 4 or 5 games. Them tigger fans will be trying to bite his butt.

Clemson_Joe · 7 months ago

I think he'll be fine with 4 losses, but 5 may be a problem. It really all depends on who he loses to.

Personally I really like the guy, so he'd have to lose 7 or more for me to be angry with him in his first full season.

Zac · 7 months ago

OK! STOP!!! UNCLE already! I give up. Somebody on here (C-Dogg, where iz that boy?) said the Miami Butt Buddies article was the best. No way! This is it right here. My sides are aching, my gut has split so hard. In the infamous words of Mork from Ork, this thread has a "Triple RR Rating!" I'm still laughing too hard to come up with anything as funny.

TampaGator · 7 months ago

Definitely one of the funniest threads on FB--fine work, gentlemen!

Happy Easter to y'all!



GO GATORS!!

gatorhippy · 7 months ago

Just for you, bud...

thebuckstopshere declared the forty a blight on the community because the one time he went to run it a drunk dude hit on his wife and his kid saw a coed in a tubetop...

WarEagleFan · 7 months ago

LMAO!!!!

thebuckstopshere · 7 months ago

TG and Ghipster showed up at the race together, met under the bleachers and called it a "business trip"........

War_Eagle_Atlanta · 7 months ago

Don't feel bad, Buckstops. The coed could have been wearing 'jorts'...

TampaGator · 7 months ago

Buchstops:

I was across the State on business--in Orlando. GH, according to his post, was in P'cola, which is in the Panhandle. If I were anywhere in the Panhandle, I've have said "Panhandle". Whatever.

If recollection serves, it was you who found "half-naked" Georgia co-eds", somehow disturbing; it is you, with the unrelenting fantasy of "Tim Tebow masterbating"; and it is you with your newest homosexual fantasies of "Gatorhippy and TG"...

Suggestion: wash the sperm out of your mouth before posting; maybe then, your posts won't betray your true desires.


GO GATORS!!

thebuckstopshere · 7 months ago

First of TG it's a joke, you don't see anyone else on here objecting like you ......

I can just picture you reading my post and saying to yourself.....

"Well that's just dumb it’s not even remotely conceivable. Gatorhippy and I were in two different locations on our trips. Honestly I don't know where Buckstop comes up with this stuff, it's not even logical. I know I am heterosexual and clearly not gay. This guy is really delusional, I have to respond and point out to him how ridiculous his insinuations are."
LOL

I love that you led off the next part of your post with "if recollection serves"... HAHA... That's golden. You recalling something accurately, is a true feat of the mind. And you didn't disappoint, showcasing your limited abilities with the examples you listed in an attempt to make it seem like I contradicted myself. Taking things out of context and misinterpreting things are the name of the game when TG is operating.....

If anyone seeks progressive dialog and fruitful debate then avoid TG. All your discussions will falter as you will be forced to relentlessly reiterate your points over and over, hoping beyond hope that some of it will sink in to his thick skull. And not only that, right when you think you have made a breakthrough he will go on a two day hiatus. Coincidently he will return along with his wingman, who at the exact same time also claimed to be away on "business". From there they will attempt to blindside you in what seems like a coordinated surprise attack (lol). And at last you could be tired of arguing the same old sh*t (by the way don't say sh*t, that's not classy) and you might decide (like I did) to poke fun at the fact TG and Gatorhippy travel at the same times and it was peculiar how they both returned and stated to you similar excuses for being gone. But if you do decide to have a little fun with this coincident, be for warned. If you make the slightest suggestion that they possibly hooked up, you will be promptly labeled a homophobe and a pervert.....

LOL

In your own words TG

"lighten up it's just a sports blog"

GO GATORS!!!

TampaGator · 7 months ago

"...First of TG it's a joke, you don't see anyone else on here objecting like you ......"

I let it slide the 1st couple of times, but you kept banging the same drum, even taking it into another thread; a reply at this point, seemed in order.

As for the remainder of my post--it was in the spirit of this thread, including "embellishment", so I see no need to address your reply to any of it, which I took in essentially the same spirit.


GO GATORS!!

TampaGator · 7 months ago

LOL!

Allow me to expound:

...although finding the sight of half-naked beautiful women to be positively offensive, Buckstops proceded to call everyone in the race "faggot", and accuse everyone else of being homosexual, and proceeded to utter countless profanities, as he decried the event as "lacking class"; however, he set out to win it anyway, declaring that "...one does not need class to win this race...", and since "...[he] had no class...", he could surely win it...

....as he approached the 20 yardline, Buckstops raised his hands, declaring victory, then promply face-planted in the mud (after it was pointed out to him, that he had run the 20 yds in the wrong direction (at TG's prompting))...

...afterwards, BSH and TE giggled incesantly, as they recalled Buckstops rants:

"...you called 'em faggot"...,

"...Tim Tebow masterbates..."

...giggle giggle giggle....



GO GATORS!!

thebuckstopshere · 7 months ago

Nah man you got it all wrong.....

This should be a one two liner tops. You're not writing a skit for SNL here.

Slightly embellished but a good use of references (you have to read the Jax thread to understand)

All in all it had potential, but like the race you got easily distracted and ran the 400 instead of the 40.........

TampaGator · 7 months ago

Well played.

b/t/w: "...you got easily distracted and ran the 400 instead of the 40....."

Your previous post was as longer than my first 2 combined; maybe we both "Gumped" it.


GO GATORS!!

gatorhippy · 7 months ago

Instead of running the forty yard dash, Mark Mangino simply allowed the grounds crew to use his belt as the measuring tape...

Cobia · 7 months ago

Leavitt ran the forty in 5.72 seconds.
http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=405...

fosterkeats · 7 months ago

Butch Davis got the track all stocked with good runners, then left and let his assistant get all the credit...

Les Miles ran a 6.7 with his dome hat on, 4.8 without it...

Randy Shannon had to borrow one of his players' guns to start the race...

Rich Brooks was too drunk to race...

Bob Stoops didn't have to run; his contract states that he has to be one of the top 5 fastest at all times...

Gene Chizik ran, but no one cares...

OU_Ron · 7 months ago

Bob Stoops didn't have to run...he's an automatic qualifier, even if he loses he knows the computers will boost him to the top..;-)

Zac · 7 months ago

WAY TOO many 2nd place finishes; the boy'z deffinately over due.

War_Eagle_Atlanta · 7 months ago

Pretty good, Foster. You're the master of the analogy. We may have to get you to do a thread from time to time.

fosterkeats · 7 months ago

Throw me a random sports topic that hasn't been beaten like a dead horse, and I'll make it happen...

War_Eagle_Atlanta · 7 months ago

Therein lies the hard part. You have to create this on your own. Either come up with an opinion piece, or comment on an existing story.

TigerEducated · 7 months ago

Other notable participants:

Gatorhippy was going to run the race, but decided it was much less dangerous if he in turn criticized everyone who ran rather than put himself out there

Bleed_Crimson was going to run the race, but instead had his girlfriend's Daddy Warbuck's try to pay race officials off. As a result, we were all forced to listen to Peabo Bryson, though since Bobby Gaston has no juice beyond getting hometown football officiating calls, the nefarious ability to influence the official results did not extend to the track that day.

Porcine refused to participate unless he was timed in the 40 in Fayettville. After race officials agreed, they were forced to invalidate his time when officials from Arkansas attempted to certify a 1.9 millisecond 40 time.

Ole Miss' Jerrel Powe was declared ineligible to participate when he admitted that he did not know how to sign his time slip.

Dennis Erickson was set to participate, but after failing to show up for his slated run, a search of the area turned him up at a local watering hole, arguing belligerently with patrons. It seems Coach Erickson thought it was a race to see who could down 40 ounce bottles of Old English the quickest.

Mack Brown refused to run without Vince Young present, unless he could be timed in February.

Finally, Tim Tebow opted to be timed while walking 40 yards...on water...

Afterwards, Gatorhippy attempted to have his time listed as, "...a blink of the Lord's eye..." and then was thrown out of the facility by security after attempting to place a plaque up commemorating Tebow's accomplishments there.

War_Eagle_Atlanta · 7 months ago

On water. Love it!

gatorhippy · 7 months ago

You didn't see it, WEAtl?

It was on national television Thanksgiving weekend...

Bama_Babe · 7 months ago

Holly Rowe signed up to run, but later chose to sit it out because they told her she was not allowed to jog along and interview the runners during the race....So she decided to wait at the finish line and ask stupid questions like "So, Coach Weiss, how do you feel about your last place finish?"

Julio Jones did not sign up to run, but won anyway ....

War_Eagle_Atlanta · 7 months ago

You really need to sit down with Holly and get this issue resolved... :-)

Bama_Babe · 7 months ago

Haha. Am I rambling on about her too much??

I'm just trying to let it all out before the season starts...

;)

TigerEducated · 7 months ago

I think you have some latent issues you need to deal with...

I'll bet if you began keeping a dream journal, Holly's name would be all over it...

[kidding]

TampaGator · 7 months ago

Friendly reminder:

Don't forget to get your extensions filed to today...


GO GATORS!!

TigerEducated · 7 months ago

Dude...I have two LLC's & a W-2 fulltime permanent employer, and I filed using TurboTax, for free, and even itemized...

Got my federal return back (Yes, TE expenses the hell out of everything) over two months ago...

Louisiana's State Tax Deadline is May 15th...So I didn't bother with it. It's free, as well.

If you can't file your taxes in a timely fashion, you're either a procrastinator of the first order, or a complete idgit...

TampaGator · 7 months ago

That's nice.

I have a tax guy; the post was in jest.


GO GATORS!!

The_Observer · 7 months ago

Sometimes people OWE the IRS money, TE. The longer I can hold onto the money the better, IMO.

By the way, taxes CAN be time consuming and get more complicated than 2 LLC's and being a "fulltime permanent employer". Just so you know we aren't all idgits.

fosterkeats · 7 months ago

Anyone remember this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTXyXuqfBLA

Kinda how my day's been...

Clemson_Joe · 7 months ago

Waldorf and Statler are classic. I wish they were still around.

That show, as a whole, was absolutely ingenious. Great clip.

Zac · 7 months ago

My wife and I have been Muppet fans for years (kids too). She cried when Jim Henson died; I wasn't feel'n much good either. Great stuff; helped build lots of memories with me and mine. Of the movies, I have to go with Muppets Take Manhatan. "Cancel the show! Hyeeeeee Yah!"

jold · 7 months ago

Haha silly

-**edited - no commercial links, please**